One year post divorce- how I breathe and dance through the pain

Hi Radiate fam!

Chelsea, founder of Radiate Retreat here. I wanted to begin this blog with my first post being the story of Radiate Retreat and how it was founded, the journey that led me there. But that story is so grand, that it seems simpler to start with where I'm at right now.

My intention in this space is to share weekly messages about my healing journey in hopes that it can help and inspire others to seek the magic within themselves.

It's been one year since I got divorced and almost one year since my best friend died shortly after. It's been an entire year of grieving. I've basically spent the whole year in a pause, or reset from life. I've been crying, feeling, laughing, dancing, and breathing through the pain.

Last year, I felt like everything I knew to be true in my life had been ripped away from me. The two people in my life that meant the most to me, that made up my "family", were all of a sudden both out of my life. I felt like I didn't belong anywhere, like I didn't know where to go, or how to build myself back up from that. I was sure I would stay sad and depressed forever. I was sure I would never dance, laugh, or love again.

But here I am dancing, laughing, and in love again. There are a few things that helped me through this year that I want to share in hopes that it could maybe help whoever is reading this.

1. feeling it. - I started this practice of allowing myself to feel the pain completely through my entire body. I let it overtake my body like a burning flame. The rage, anger, sadness, pain, hate- I let myself feel it through my entire body rather than just stuffing it down. Stuffing it down is how I used to face pain. I thought that letting myself feel it would make me go crazy. When actually, it was the buildup of stuffed-down emotions that ended up making me go crazy. Emotions need to be felt before they can be released, and they are there for a reason, to show you something. Let yourself feel them fully.

2. breathing into it- Once I felt the burning feeling of the emotions through my body, I breathed deeply into them. I imagined that the emotions and feelings were being pushed out of my body with every deep breath. The deeper I breathed, the more layers that would leave my body. I imagined that the emotions were leaving through my fingertips. I screamed and cried as I breathed deeper. It was a painful experience, alone on my kitchen floor. I had just signed the divorce papers and felt so much pain and rage in my body that it quite literally knocked me to the floor. So I just laid there on the floor breathing into the pain for hours, until I felt a moment of relief. I couldn't believe it- I had actually breathed these negative emotions out of my body.

3. dancing it out- After that moment of release, I danced. I danced as I cried, as I yelled, as I laughed, and just shook my body to dance through all of it. I shook my body as hard as I needed to. The more I moved, the more I felt the energy flowing through me, and the "stuckness" moving. There have also been scientific studies showing how shaking can help regulate the nervous system and calm the body when it's overstimulated. It's been a beautiful journey for me to learn that "dancing it out" is much more than just a cute saying. Now, whenever I feel sad, stuck, frustrated, angry, or any build-up of extreme emotions- I dance it out. I dance through those feelings.

With these three steps, I was able to welcome any feelings or emotions that would come up for me, whenever they come up. Feelings are there for a reason, to teach and tell us something. We need to feel them before we can let them go. We need to call them up to the surface, thank them for what they gave us (whether that be protection, a warning, or guidance), and then let them know that they are free to go because we don't need them in our bodies anymore.

After one year of grieving, I'm ready to get back to living again. I'm ready to keep breathing and dancing through the waves of emotions.

xoxo,

chelsea

seek the magic ✨